1. |
You and Me
03:59
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Dear God I hope nothing is wrong
Been a while since I spoke to you I know
Did a few things I’d rather not have done
As limited as a primitive analog
You and me and everyone I know
Believes in something wrong, I think we’re stuck
Inside a dream - a forest made of plastic trees
Distinctive shapes misleading me
What’s the point of anything at all
If it hurts to be awake and witness everything
Help me help me to forget my thoughts
I’ll be better next time if you want
You and me and everyone I know
Believes in something wrong, I think we’re stuck
Inside a dream - a forest made of plastic trees
Distinctive shapes misleading me
Start reforming
Neural networks in the spheres
Say goodbye
Disproportionate
Feelings taint the way it heals
And how you react to it now
Tired of restarting
The game was not so hard for you
Easy is as easy does
Shifting onward
Into something I can’t feel
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2. |
Still Around
03:19
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I broke things again
Why bother fixing what’s broken within
But you’re still around
Knowing what’s coming you still don’t get out
But Here I go...
Falling in The same pits again
You keep pulling me out
But I’m still about to just fall right in
To trouble again. But you still pull me out
When I’m just about to give in
Maybe it’s time
To see sense for once and just leave me behind
I can’t seem to win
I‘m trying so hard to be worthy again
But Here I go...
Here I go again....
You’re pulling me through.
Depending on you but then
Here I go again. And you’re still around
But here I go. Here I go.
Here I go...
Falling in The same pits again
You keep pulling me out
But I’m still about to just fall right in
To trouble again. But you still pull me out
When I’m just still bound to keep
Falling in The same pits again
You keep pulling me out
But I’m still about to just fall right in
To trouble again. But you still pull me out
When I’m just about to give in
I’m just about to give in
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3. |
Waiting
03:37
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Lay down your hands and ego
I’d say you’ve earned a minute’s rest
You conquered the world, forget it
Cause I know
I know your soul is wearing
The consequence of years of violence and war
Waiting is the hardest part
When you know the hit is coming up
Brace for it, you might tense up
Before you know it the round is done
Pick up those dusty medals
You know you’ve got a few miles left
You conquered the road, forget it
Oh I know
I know your bones are wearing
The consequence of taking on giants
Waiting is the hardest part
When you know the hit is coming up
Brace for it, you might tense up
Before you know it the round is done
Waiting is the hardest part
When you know the hit is coming up
If you get another shot
Will you take it or pass it up?
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4. |
So Afraid
03:42
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I couldn’t find a way,
to tell you all the things I meant to tell you yesterday
I try so hard to say, the words that stay inside and never see the light of day
(Caught up. Caught in. Caught up. Caught in a scene)
Caught in a scene, that plays every day
It plays on repeat. Repeat.
You smile and turn away,
thinking about the things you bit your tongue to stop from saying
You’re holding back again. And no one knows but you about the life that you pretend.
(Caught up. Caught in. Caught up. Caught in a scene)
Caught in a scene, that plays every day
It plays on repeat. Repeat.
So afraid. We fall in line and all the time we lie
So afraid. We try to hide and try to find a life.
Caught in a scene, that plays every day
It plays on repeat. Repeat.
Caught in a scene, that plays every day
It plays on repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat
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5. |
Blink
04:26
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I don’t want your secrets now don’t you dare share your story, no, oh no
I got enough in my head to wind me up forever I’m sorry
Won’t you stay mysterious and clever that’ll be the boundary
Between love and therapy, ignorance is pleasant for all of me
Can I rest in this moment
Just toss my thoughts around
Can I feel at any moment
What it’s like trapped inside you
Maybe new perspective will allow you to see what’s really going on now
I don’t try to hide it but the routine’s inspired by tired eyes
In tandem we escape the world and all of the guilt that’s in it
Levitating far above the earth if you blink you’ll surely miss it
Steam settles in a fragrant plume
Ritualistic time for you
Sitting there in an empty room
The scent will drift
The space will bloom
No I don’t wanna see you go
But I can’t have it end like the last time
Don’t you want to turn me off? I don’t want you to feel this
One day will be here in no time
One way means leave before I unwind
Don’t tell it as it is
Just say it like it’s
Not a fake apology
That you rehearsed and loaded
Won’t you turn me off I don’t want you to feel this
All my starts are endings
No more parts between them to blink
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6. |
There
03:57
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He seems so lost
He wanders night and day
It seems so far
Where will he find the way
There........
He’ll find it there........
She’s in that place
Hate keeps her all alone
She feels the shame
Where can she find a home
There......
She’ll have it there......
It’s just over there......
They’ll find it there......
You know the pain. You’ve felt the shame.
Help bring them the things they’ve been longing for.
You feel the doubt. Can’t leave it now.
They’re not alone. You see the fall.
They struggle and stumble and lose it all.
You stay and then, you’re telling them
You’ll find it there.
You’ll have it there.
There....
It’s over there...
There...
I promise it’s there....
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7. |
Indigo
04:00
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Broke and tired dreaming of a home
Some warmth to save her from the cold
Too many nights out there alone
She feels them lingering
Burn that body
They preach with rhythmic clarity
She’s not gonna give up
Just leave her out there shivering
That’s too bad there’s a protest incubating
That’s so sad there’s inequality
We don’t know
Why she’s so
Many shades but blue
When she glows
Indigo
She turns into a mute
Yet she still sells the truth
Lost and distant from the other drones
Extensions of the status quo
They lead each other to the throne
Kings and queens of the obvious
Burn that body
They preach with rhythmic clarity
She’s not gonna give up
Just leave her out there shivering
That’s too bad there’s a protest incubating
That’s so sad there’s inequality
We don’t know
Why she’s so
Many shades but blue
When she glows
Indigo
She turns into a mute
Yet still, oh she still
Sells it
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8. |
||||
Running around and laugh and feel
the sun against my face
Nights spent on our backs
watching stars that stay in place
Throwing stones and jumping in
the water in my jeans
Fishing while our clothes drip dry
discussing movie scenes
Can’t remember when it changed
or when I fell asleep
It all turned and time burns
It turned lost in all the days
Counting down the time I have to wonder why
It turned. Now it slips away
and I’m trying to find the time to live again
Days crawl on until they’re gone
and colors fade to gray
Faces come and faces go
my friends all fade away
When did all the time I have start
running back instead
It all turned and time burns
It turned lost in all the days
Counting down the time I have to wonder why
It turned. Now it slips away
and I’m trying to find the time to live again
I turn facing all the days
Counting all the time I have to feel alive
I turn. Fall back into place
Think I finally found a way to live again
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9. |
Subjection
05:41
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Look around, so many tilted
Thinning phantoms on an absent planet
Somewhere out there floating past the sky
An ancient source that makes up all the light
Let’s write about its darkest spaces
I’ll show you how to fake creation
For a price I’ll show you grand designs
The reason for this and the next life
Is fading
Green and blue
Time to choose
Which of you
Is really you
I don’t doubt
It’s a mirage
There’s no proof
Infiniteless loops
Swallow that extra vintage
Walk the path, pursue an abstract landing
They’ll gather here to seek forgiveness
They want, they want
To process what they love
Fading
Green and blue
Time to choose
Which of you
Is really you
I don’t doubt
It’s a mirage
There’s no proof
Infiniteless loops, loops, loops, loops
There is no glory
Is that something I should feel?
Becoming a new story
Self righteous spinning wheels
The weather never changes
When you’re stuck inside of here
The air thin and painless
Don’t cry, this isn’t real
There is no glory
Is that something I should feel?
Reminiscing on your journey
As you pretend it’s something real
Up and around
The same sights, the same sounds
Longing for more
Excess habits, sexist words
Where does it end?
When did the subjection begin?
Lights flicker on
And then off and on again
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10. |
Just Visiting
04:51
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Old entries scribbled neatly
On a faded yellow pad
Don’t seem to make much sense now
In my semi-made up bed
Whatever purpose they had
Guess it’s stayin’ in the past
Cause I don’t feel like unwrapping
All the garbage in my head
Grown ups acting like they’re kids
Who’s left here to punish them?
Don’t worry, It’ll be fine
If you can smile and laugh
Grown ups screaming, throwin’ fits
Shut up and hear this argument
All you gotta do
Is say it like its true
Wondering about times lost
Memories fused into the stacks of folded paper
Black and blue ink blots
With dates and printed labels
Different sizes and shapes
Wrinkled up recycled letters
Damn I used to be so fake
Grown ups acting like they’re kids
Who’s left here to punish them?
Don’t worry, It’ll be fine
If you can smile and laugh
Grown ups screaming, throwin’ fits
Shut up and hear this argument
All you gotta do
Is say it like its true
Let’s get down act like we’re hip
Drink too much, get a little lit
We can stay up late
Who cares about responsibility
I’m not here to be something else
Just pretending ‘til I get blacked out again
I’m not here to be unkind
Just visiting in a story that I won’t remember
I’m not sure I’ve had enough wine
Or if I can walk a straight enough line
I’m not here to be someone else
Just witnessing whatever, oh well
I’m not sure I can unwind
Inching to the finish of this never-ending night
I’m not sure if I’ve had too much wine
Or if I can walk a straight enough line
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11. |
Everywhere I Go
04:18
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I must have been here
I must have played this scene before
Waiting for the sirens
Waiting for a mystery to solve
Post-incidental violence
There’ll be a record somewhere soon
But for now we’ll play like
We’re witnessing something new
Rubbernecker’s dream yeah
Cars trashed to pieces in the road
Don’t you want to see it?
Biggest crash since 1981
I don’t want to go home
Wanna stay and be part of the crowd
No I’m not alone now
Cause I’ve got something to talk about
You shouldn’t stay here
These things you really can’t unsee
Burning rubber phantoms
Lingering just breathe in heavily
No comfort in this moment
Skip back into a pleasant one
For us to be
Where we can do anything
Rubbernecker’s dream yeah
Cars trashed to pieces in the road
Don’t you want to see it?
Biggest crash since 1981
I don’t want to go home
Wanna stay and be part of the crowd
But I feel alone now
Cause I’ve got nothing to say
Guess it’s time to leave again
Everywhere I go
The people they all look the same
I think something is wrong with me
And maybe its my fault
That everything I see
Looks like the start of something close to
A missing opportunity
A future presently hunting me
Everything I know
Is fading as the scene dissolves
The ambulance has taken them
Away and that’s all
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12. |
Without a Shadow
03:02
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Used to be in a bad routine
Stress the day then drink it away
Repeat til there’s enough in the bank
By that time most memory’s escaped
Sweat and shake
Til the blood runs pure
Breaking off the hooks always hurts
Who is gonna love you when your mind is gone?
Will it even matter if you can’t make thoughts?
Sing for life, identify as esoteric
Without a shadow dimming lights instill panic
Two weeks in and the pain is gone
They must think the new version is flawed
Urges come in waves, what the hell for
Tell yourself it will be worth it for someone
Crash and wake
Time slows down in this state
Maybe it heals enough for those who can wait
Who is gonna love you when your mind is gone?
No one lives forever but each moment does
Sing for life, identify as esoteric
Without a shadow dimming lights instill panic
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13. |
Circle 748-596-380
02:48
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Apraxia Tampa, Florida
Apraxia is a curmudgeon of 2 to 7 people making music for rpm challenge, mostly every
February.
Information on our current profile pic: "Een houtsnede van N. de Laaf voor het maandblad 'Het Vliegveld' van december 1924 getiteld 'De Soesterbergsche jazz-band onder den kerstboom.'" is marked with CC0 1.0
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